


An Inner Fire

by Elise_Madrid



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:35:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elise_Madrid/pseuds/Elise_Madrid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, it takes a crisis for Bruce to admit how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Inner Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Set sometime after Jason’s, but long before Bruce’s so-called death.

Bruce sat by the window and rested his head against the back of the heavy armchair, his gaze locked on the dreary landscape on the other side of the glass. November was half gone, the bare trees, swaying in the gusting wind, only adding to the sense of winter’s bleak hold. The room in which he sat was dim, its sole illumination the shallow light that filtered in from outside. He listened to the sound of the rain, finding a certain solace in its constancy. Perhaps as long as it rained....

He glanced across the room to the still figure on the bed. It had been four days since Dick’s accident and only now was Bruce able to think clearly. He’d been on autopilot ever since he’d looked up and watched helplessly as Nightwing, the assailant’s bullet striking home, had slammed full force into the side of the building.

Nightwing had stayed conscious long enough to prevent himself from falling the hundred or so feet to the ground. His hold was slipping, though, by the time Batman reached him and it was a precarious journey to the ground. Once safe, he’d lowered the unresponsive man onto his back and checked him over. The bullet had hit him high in the chest; the injuries Nightwing might have acquired as his body impacted against the building only added to Batman’s worry. Their prey forgotten, he’d gotten Nightwing back to the batmobile and home.

That drive had seemed to take forever. The scent of blood filled the vehicle and there was a gurgle in Nightwing’s breathing. Batman didn’t know if it was a blessing or not that Nightwing still hadn’t responded. When they’d reached the cave, Alfred had been there waiting, but Batman could only remember the blood that had covered him and the stillness of the man in his arms as he’d carried Nightwing through the Batcave.

“How is he doing?”

Bruce looked up. He hadn’t heard Alfred come in. “About the same. He woke up a little while ago, complaining of pain. I think his ribs are really bothering him. I managed to get him to fall back to sleep. It’s too soon for more pain medication.”

“They will take time to mend. He was quite lucky, considering the circumstances.”

Bruce gave a snort of disgust. “Lucky. Right. He could have bled to death, or suffered permanent brain damage.”

“The bullet did no lasting damage and his concussion was not as severe as we first feared. All in all, things could have been far worse.” Alfred turned from his study of their patient and looked at Bruce. “And how are you doing, Master Bruce?”

“Me? I’m doing just fine. I wasn’t the one who came back half dead.”

“But you have been the one, haven’t you? You have returned in far worse shape than this, yet you continue your role as Batman.”

“Of course I do.”

“Then allow Master Dick the same courtesy.”

Bruce stared up at the man. “What’s that supposed mean?”

Alfred sighed and looked back at Dick. “Everyone is aware of your regard for him, perhaps more so than you are yourself.” His face gentled. “I remember when he was still a boy, how hard it was for you to allow him at your side. Yet you could not deny him. It was only later....”

Bruce didn’t want to think about that. He stood up. “Can you stay with him now?”

“That was my intent.”

“Good, because I was planning on going on patrol tonight.”

“There has been no call from Commissioner Gordon. Gotham seems particularly quiet at this time.”

“Yes, but it’s been too long since I’ve been out there.” And he had some unfinished business.

Alfred said nothing, though the look he gave Bruce spoke volumes. Instead, he walked over and took a seat in the chair by the bedside, opened up the book he’d brought along, and began to read.

Bruce cast a last look Dick’s way before stepping out the room.

~~~~~

Batman gazed down at the narrow alley, its shadowed doorways and piles of clutter perfect hiding places. After several misleads, he’d finally tracked down the thief whose work he and Nightwing had interrupted. The same thief who had almost killed Nightwing. He didn’t know the man’s name, but he knew what he looked like. That had been enough.

The man had left a trail of crimes and more than enough reasons to be arrested. Batman didn’t think the man would make it to the police station—not in one piece, anyway.

Batman’s hands hung in tight fists at his side. The intensity of his feelings disturbed him. The control he prided himself on had disappeared when he’d knelt by Nightwing’s still and broken form. Even knowing that Nightwing was okay, that he was out of danger, did little to dampen Batman’s rage.

Now, that same thief was down there, somewhere.

A flicker of movement drew Batman’s eyes. Out of one of the doorways, a man cautiously stepped. Whisper quiet, Batman made his way down and came to light not ten feet behind him.

“Looking for something?”

The man swung around, and even in the dimness of the alleyway, Batman knew it was the person he’d been seeking. He grabbed the man by the collar and tossed him against the nearby wall. He hit with a heavy thud, and then folded into the debris around him. His scrambling attempt at escape created a cacophony of sound. A light went on in one of the windows above them.

Batman didn’t care. He advanced on the man and once more threw him against a wall, this time face first. When the man finally stood, his nose was bleeding and blood was pouring from a head wound. Batman pulled him to his feet and pulled his fist back.

~~~~~

He drove slower than he usually did, trying not to think about what had almost happened, yet unable to think of anything else. His hands tightened on the wheel, and he felt again the almost overpowering desire to smash in the felon’s face, to keep on hitting him until there was nothing left. He still wasn’t sure what had stopped him. He’d been so close, but he’d managed to pull himself back from the brink, to call the police and hand the man over to them. It had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done, yet he knew he’d had no choice in the matter. To do otherwise would have lost him Nightwing as sure as if he’d died in that filthy alley.

The falls came into view and he drove through and into the batcave. He wearily let himself out of the vehicle, pulling off his cowl as he made his way through the cave. Without thought, he found himself facing Jason’s Robin costume.

He pressed his hand against the glass. He remembered vividly the rage and sorrow he’d felt at Jason’s death, yet he knew that it was nothing compared to what he would have felt if Dick had died. That he knew beyond doubt.

 

_”And a child he is! The most dangerous child alive.” Bruce couldn’t keep the disgust from his voice. The Joker had always elicited that reaction in him._

_In bed and being administered by Alfred for the bullet wound he’d acquired, Dick was having none of it. “Well, I’m not a child... and I’m not dead, either. I just can’t go along with what you’re saying.”_

_“What, that the Joker’s the meanest of mean little kids?”_

_“No,” Dick replied angrily. “That I’m a kid! And that “Robin” is better off left dead.”_

 

They’d argued, but he’d won in the end. Dick had stopped being Robin, and had walked out of Bruce’s life. But it hadn’t taken any time at all for him to pick up the mantle of crime fighting again. Robin had died, at least for Dick, but Nightwing had been born. For eighteen long months they’d been apart. And when Dick had finally shown up, Bruce had fooled himself in believing that his reason for forcing Dick away was so he’d do exactly what he’d done—make a new life for himself.

He’d almost believed it, though Dick hadn’t for a second. He’d called Bruce on it and had forced a confession of sorts. Dick hadn’t believed him then, either. Bruce snorted derisively. It had been a pretty lame excuse and Dick had always been able to read him better than anyone else. But he’d hurt Dick, had continued to hurt Dick as they’d tried to put it all behind them, pretend that nothing had ever happened. While all along...what?

He tried to understand what it was he’d felt that day, watching Dick being shot, watching him being injured, and what he felt now. He’d pushed Dick away, but had been unable to stay out of his life.

And suddenly it was just there, the thought becoming certainty in a heartbeat. That was the moment, when he had thought he’d seen Dick fall to his death, that he’d discovered that Dick’s death would be the end of him. And with a sense of deep incredulousness, he finally realized why. He was in love with Dick Grayson.

He shook his head. What was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t exactly an innocent when it came to being with another man, but as far as he knew Dick was exclusively a ladies’ man. Hell, the kid was known far and wide for breaking hearts—though, more often than not, his ended up getting a bit battered, too. Barbara, Kory, Starfire, and those were just the ones he was aware of. No, this was yet another secret he’d hold close. It had taken too long for them to rebuild their relationship. Bruce wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize it. Okay, he loved Dick, but that was something Dick could never know. Bruce would manage... somehow.

“Master Bruce?”

Bruce looked up. Alfred stood a distance away. He’d obviously noticed Bruce’s preoccupation.

“Is something amiss, Master Bruce? You’ve been staring...” He made a slight movement toward Jason’s costume.

“It’s nothing, Alfred. Just remembering.” He mentally shook himself. “How’s Dick?”

“Better. He even managed a full meal. I believe he’ll be up and about in no time.”

“I hope so. Is he asleep?”

“Unfortunately he’s wide awake. I believe he’s beginning to feel the confinement. A visit from you would certainly lift his spirits.”

Bruce’s first reaction was to dissemble, but he was going to have to deal with being around Dick sooner or later. It might as well be sooner. “Let me change and I’ll be right up.”

~~~~~

It was easier—and harder—for Bruce than he’d imagined it would be. Easier, in that, because Dick’s focus was on getting better, he wasn’t as aware of Bruce as he normally was, and harder because he had discovered that he had only glimpsed the surface of his feelings for Dick. They had turned out to be almost bottomless.

“Slow down, Dick.” Bruce took a sip of coffee as he watched in awe as Dick polished off his breakfast. It had always amazed him how much Dick could pack away. They now sat at the small table in the kitchen, somehow having grown out of the habit of using the dining room.

Dick swallowed down a last mouthful and pushed his plate away. “Barbara’s coming by in a little while and you know how long it takes me to get dressed.” He grimaced as he surveyed the bandages showing through the opening in his robe. “I can’t wait to get these things off.”

“Just a few more days.” Bruce carefully lowered his cup. “How are things between you and Barbara coming along?”

Dick shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I think we’ve come to an understanding.”

“An understanding?” Bruce tried to sound casual, but his pulse was tripping over itself and he was having trouble hearing over the pounding of his own heart.

“Yeah, we understand that we’re never going to make it as a couple, so we might as well try to be friends.”

“Oh.” Bruce couldn’t think of anything else to say. He was too busy trying to get his breath back.

“I don’t know why I ever thought it would work out between us.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know, maybe because there always seems to be something more, well, important in my life. It’s hard being Nightwing and having a normal love life at the same time.”

Bruce hid a smile. “Tell me about it.”

“Preaching to the choir, huh?” The smile Dick wore faded. “Do you think either one of us will ever find someone? It’s awfully lonely on your own.”

“I don’t know, Dick. Maybe.” Bruce nodded toward the door. “You better get going. You don’t want to keep your company waiting.”

Dick slowly rose and with a wave left Bruce sitting alone.

Bruce took another sip of coffee and stared out the window. He’d found his someone; it didn’t seem to help the loneliness.

~~~~~

“Don’t overdo it, Dick,” Bruce admonished as he watched Dick on the unevens.

Dick completed one more flip before releasing the bar and landing gracefully on his feet. He lowered his arms and grinned. “Not a twinge. It looks like you’re going to be losing a patient.”

Bruce felt a stab of regret. As hard as it had been having Dick around these last few weeks, he couldn’t but regret his departure. But he couldn’t hold him back, either; it was time for them to return to their separate lives. “When are you leaving?”

“Probably not until this evening, after dinner. It’ll be nice to have one more of Alfred’s home-cooked meals.” He pulled off his sweatshirt and turned away, so that his back was to Bruce. “Are you going to be here?”

“I don’t have anything planned, but you know how it is...”

“Yeah, I know.”

His response had been offhanded, but Bruce heard so much more in it. He wondered if Dick did know. For years, the two of them had patrolled Gotham together, and then suddenly they didn’t. Since then, he’d gotten the distinct impression that Dick thought that Bruce only loved Robin, no matter his incarnation, not Dick.

Bruce knew that wasn’t true. No matter who wore Robin’s costume, no one could ever replace Dick. Perhaps he couldn’t show him everything he felt, but he could lay this particular thought to rest.

Bruce took a deep breath. He approached Dick and hesitantly placed his hand on his shoulder. It was a casual gesture, but one he’d seldom used. Maybe unconsciously he hadn’t trusted himself to touch Dick. Now, it was all he’d ever have.

Dick turned, a look of surprise on his face. Bruce found himself staring, and as he did, Dick’s expression shifted. He saw pleasure, yes, but something more. Something that seemed so very familiar yet never recognized. Something that gave Bruce the courage to step closer and lower his head until their lips met.

It wasn’t a passionate kiss. Yet when Bruce pulled away, the smile on Dick’s face told him all he needed to know. He slowly pulled him into his arms.

Later, Bruce wouldn’t have been able to tell how they ended up on the mats, their sweats off, his body covering Dick’s. What he would always be able to describe was the feel of that body against his, the heaviness of Dick’s cock as it slid against his own. Even within the frenzy of motion, his mind was cataloging every sensation: the softness of Dick’s skin, the sinewy strength that pushed up to meet his thrusts, the soft moans that gusted at his ear.

Bruce felt a slight shudder pass through the body in his arms and then Dick gasped out what could have been Bruce’s name. Bruce felt the warm emission coat his belly and then his world narrowed to the feeling in his groin as he pulsed out his own climax.

It took a few minutes for awareness to take hold, for the cold of the room and the stickiness of their bodies to become uncomfortable. Bruce rolled off and reached over for the towels on the nearby bench. He wiped them both off and then covered them both as best he could before settling on his side next to Dick. He kept one arm slung over Dick’s body.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked.

Dick grinned. “I’m fine. Better than fine. Great, actually.”

“I’m glad. “He hesitated. “Don’t get me wrong, but I hadn’t planned on this.”

“I didn’t think so. The gym isn’t exactly an ideal place for a seduction is it? But as long as it finally happened, I really can’t bring myself to care how it happened.”

Bruce gazed at him in wonder. “I had no idea. Some detective I am.” Curiosity overcame reticence. “Have you been waiting long?”

Dick snorted. “It feels like ages. I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember.” He turned his head and searched Bruce’s face. “But you must be happy that it did because you’re smiling.”

“No, I’m not,” Bruce responded almost indignantly.

“Yes, you are. Oh, maybe not a smile that most people can see. You don’t do many of those. This is one of your secret smiles.”

“Secret smiles?”

“Yeah. I’ll never forget the first time I saw one. I couldn’t have been with you more than a few months. It’s a look you get. A certain...” He shook his head. “It’s hard to explain, but I could tell when you were happy. It was as if you let lose an inner fire that you kept banked the rest of the time. But I could see it as plain as day.

“Anyway, I swore that from then on I would do everything I could to make sure I saw that look as often as I could. And I was a greedy kid, I never liked when you’d give one to someone else. I wanted them all for myself.”

Bruce really did smile then. “I don’t think that will be a problem from now on.”

Dick cocked his head. “So what made you decide to kiss me if this wasn’t planned?”

“I don’t know...something in your eyes.” He chuckled and pulled Dick close. “Maybe I can see your inner fire, too.”


End file.
